Thursday, 27 November 2014



Thanks for yesterday's comments.

I thought I was doing very well with my gluten free experiment. But a while ago I began to get familiar pains in my gut. Sharp pains that double me up, bloat my stomach and make me feel sick. Puzzled, I turned to Google.  It turns out the rice cakes I ate for lunch and again this afternoon are not gluten free. I have eaten 5 all together today. It's the Kallo range, the spicy chilli ones. I had them in from ages ago. I've been on the website and when I do the tick box for gluten free they disappear.
Flipping heck, I may as well have had the toast I have been craving. least the pain would have been worth it.
Have got corn thins for lunch tomorrow.yay.

Take care

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

26th November


It would have been my mum's birthday today. I did not place flowers at the grave like some did. I may go nearer to Christmas and leave some bright fake flowers. She liked colour, a lot. I find it hard to visit there and don't need to visit to remember. My son and I had to do some shopping together so we sat in BHS cafĂ©, one of her regular places and shared a hot choc and a plate of chips in her honour.

I wrote these words a while ago and decided to save them for her birthday.

When your mum dies everything is tinged with sadness. You may hear a favourite song, shop in a particular shop or eat a particular food that triggers a memory. You may laugh at a joke and momentarily think that you will share it with her and then you remember.The phone rings and you wonder if it's her, just for a fleeting moment. You miss the shared glance that needs no words but says everything.
It needn't have been a perfect idyllic childhood. It may have had bad patches, tough times, fallings out and failings. But there was always unconditional love and when it goes so does a little of yourself. The deep deep feeling that something has gone for good that will never be replaced.
Life goes on and you are a changed person. Celebrations are missing a vital person and family photos have a space.

Take care


Monday, 24 November 2014

Day 2.


Thanks for helpful comments yesterday, given me some ideas.

Am on day 2 of strict gluten free. Am bloody starving ha. But that because it's Monday and it's our rush day - as the Bangles sang. Normally would grab a few cheesey pittas but have had crispbread instead and olives. Going to reheat yesterdays stew for supper when I pick up son later. So looking forward to it already. No time for breakfast or lunch today so had a banana and yoghurt in between tasks at work today. Will get in order eventually with it all I'm sure and as soon as things calm down timewise will be able to cook some proper meals. Probably by Wed.

If I can keep this going for 2 weeks will be interesting to see if it makes a difference. It's probably a coincidence but my back and legs are comfortable and my neck, which is always sore recently, is manageable.

Was such a frosty morning that de icing the car made us late leaving for school. It turned out the ice we were scraping away at was in the car. Is that normal? On the way back a van decided it wanted to be in the exact spot I was in at a busy roundabout. A huge swerve avoided disaster as he (definitely was) sailed away unconcerned and I think unaware of me. From the erratic way he turned the corner he was either lost or ....well a bad word that I shouted loudly at him.
I then spent nearly an hour on the phone to the council about a £300 council tax bill they have sprung on me to pay by the new year. With that and the error on my rent account I think I would have been better off by not working this month. Or at the least I will be a very few pounds better off. I know people say it's because benefits are so high - it really isn't honest. Last winter was really choosing between eating or heating. I didn't expect it to be like this again now I'm working. Although I really do love this job and at least I'm not home freezing(try not to put heating on unless both of us are home).   Anyways all of  that was before I got to work ha.
I tell you what no matter if we only break even for a while at least I'm not signing on. Probably if I have the chance to increase my hours in time things will get better. Just imagine if I hated my job.

Oh and good news will see a friend tomorrow who is an expert in gluten free living, timing or what.


Sunday, 23 November 2014

Gluten free?


Hope you are all well. Raining away at the moment but sun is forecast for the afternoon. 

Yesterday I was like a proper keeper of a house and did cleaning and baking. I baked a loaf, not from scratch I just added water to a packet mix. I have tried many times and many ways to make bread without success and this joined the pile. However I did salvage the ends and we had jam on them. I also made a pizza base but unfortunately the scales broke at the moment I was weighing up the flour. Hence a rather doughy pizza was made and eaten. Shame as it was the scales from my childhood.

After my pizza lunch I felt sluggish and kept yawning on the dog walk. Then when I had the bread that evening I started aching all over - legs, back and neck. I have arthritis in my neck, I suffer from lower back pain and often get a heavy achey feeling in my legs. However this was quite a quick onslaught of all 3. I did a google and apparently gluten can cause inflammation and not just gut problems. I knew a long time ago I needed to limit the amount of bread I eat as I can verge on suffering from IBS and bread was definitely a trigger.

I know a little knowledge can be a bad thing but I am wondering whether to do a little test with myself and see if I can eradicate gluten for a couple of weeks and watch for results. My only drawback is it may get pricey and laziness: the thought of planning and cooking meals quite strictly. I'm not a planner and  but for having to feed someone else would happily live on toasties. I have avoided taking sandwiches to work for a fortnight but end up going hungry as the alternatives have been yucky. However I did have an Uncle Ben's rice pot thing and it had plenty of sauce and was quite edible. Cannot bear dry food. The rice is white though and so I was really hungry a few hours later. Bread and pizza fills me up for hours.

Does anyone have a few tips please? I am going to try a meal plan for this week to avoid gluten. If I can manage to incorporate it into meals without having to cook separate meals I have more chance of sticking to it. Breakfast could be yoghurt instead of cereal I suppose. Not sure for lunches yet.
Off to plan.

Take care x

Sunday, 16 November 2014

the sadness

I sit here content with a full belly, hair straightened ready for work, good documentary on the tv and my son happily flitting around doing his own thing. Yet just a few miles north families are mourning the loss of their children in a car crash.

It happened in the damp mist of last night and now instead of normal Sunday prep for school tomorrow they are dead and books of condolences have been opened.

My son is of the age where his friends are getting ready to drive. Some have scooters while they wait to reach 17 and can then apply for their provisional. Between us and them are many twisting country lanes. I drive them many times a day and night in awful conditions and know how difficult the bends can be to negotiate. A while ago I made him promise not to get in a car driven by any new or young driver. I will provide a lift whenever I can or pay for a taxi.
It only takes a little inexperience, a moment of anger or a headrush of racing and they could be gone. If he becomes a driver I would not want him to be have the responsibility of youngsters in his car either.

I never faced this problem as a kid. Only one person I knew passed her test and borrowed the family car. The rest of us made do with buses or a begged lift. But then I lived in London with a good transport system. Although I do remember a long walk home in the snow along the A13 one night.

I don't want to even begin to contemplate the loss being faced, it is too painful.  I wish they were rushing to finish last minute homework, packing their school bag and having a quick game of Fifa.


Decided to  chop and change yesterday's post. It seemed to moany.

Colouring my hair at the moment. I had the beginnings of grey in my thirties now in my forties I reckon if I ever saw my natural hair colour again it would now be fully grey. When I last had my hair cut properly the hairdresser told me the back isn't as grey.
I had a spell of blonde highlights, then blonde. But the upkeep was a pain, I don't enjoy hairdresser visits that much. Now I get a cheap bottle from super drug and splash it all over. Not tested on animals but loaded with chemicals. I tried a less chemical formula but my hair laughed in its face, went very dark for a few days then an awful colour. It didn't even touch the mallen streak I seem to get on the side. Dyeing the back is awkward now I don't have my ma to help. Still I can't see that bit.
I seem to spend a lot of time these days disguising or removing hair. It must be my age. Still beats spots any day.

Taken me ages to write this so...afternoon.


Saturday, 15 November 2014

gimme gimme

Hello and thanks to new follower.

The shops are decorated, the films are festive and lights are being switched on. None of which I mind as I'm totally able to ignore it all till I'm ready. But I do object to the TV ads which just show object after object that we might like to own. The consumerism of Christmas this year has jarred me for some reason. Maybe because we have been quite poor this year it has made me aware. But I think not as I have never had a lot of money. And yet the jaunty ad's are really irritating me. I'm not religious, had too much of a bellyfull of it as a child. Although the image of nativity advent calenders send me right back. No choc one for me. It was a simple card one from church. Each year I would push the little windows down ready to re use them. I loved the pictures they revealed. The gimme gimme attitude is wrong. Frantic shopping is boring.

It must always have been like this so I don't know why it's bothering me so much. Although I have become intolerant of adverts generally this year. Maybe why I am ignoring all offers from sky to rejoin but gladly pay my bbc license.

Take care all.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

day off...already

Hi all

Not in work today as my boss who is training me had to go on site to one of the jobs. Without him being there there's not much I can do yet. I am part time but he is so flexible/casual with hours that I can make up differences whenever. It's a great attitude and nice to be trusted from the off.

It was odd doing my usual unemployed routine knowing I was actually employed. I gave Susie a nice long walkies then took my friend shopping and of course the school run.
I'm not sure but I think I may be meeting a little hostility from someone now I have work. They have had difficulty finding work. Could be my imagination but it feels like something has shifted, could be the politics row we had though. I can't help it when someone honestly thinks UKIP are the answer to the country's problems. Not someone I am close to though so not gonna worry...will probably try and avoid for a while. No one is going to take the shine of this for me.

Wish the fireworks would finish. Poor Susie suffers. She copes by hiding all night when she can eventually calm down enough to stop running around in fear. Trouble is by 5am she is raring to go. I'm not. She sits staring at me willing me to play. 5 hours sleep for the last 2 nights are not enough, especially this week. Go to bed earlier maybe you think. I would but need to wait for the bangs to die down enough to coax her out of her 'kennel cave' and then carry her outside for a wee. I stay with her the whole time willing the skies to stay quiet for 30 seconds. Can't go to bed and relax when she may be busting and she is always ready for one.
Was meant to go out this weekend - a rare treat anyway except this is with someone I have not seen for 25 years. But there is no one to sit in with Susie and I just know there will be more fireworks on Saturday. Luckily I have rearranged and can stay in with her. My bestie will come over and keep me company and continue our experiment to find mixers that will make my cheap bottle of limoncello drinkable.

I hope that wasn't to boring, not much happens here.


Monday, 3 November 2014

Made up my mind

Hello all

Sorry for lack of posts and hello to new followers.

Hope you are all well, I have been reading just not posting.

Still with my employment issues...but it's good news.

I did self employ but the work was not coming through as quickly as I needed and we prepared to tighten our tight belts. Then 2 job offers came through. One as a self emp for a while and one as an employee. Both great jobs and both very different. What a wonderful dilemma. I accepted the employee one as it was a more practical choice. But also the interview was one of the most casual and relaxed I have ever had. It has an atmosphere that really suits my character as well as a good future career choice.

I started today and had great fun. What a relief.

How are all the pets coping with fireworks. Suse is doing better that last year but still really suffering. She has her special collar on.

Few changes with my son he has given up on his football team but is now running his own 5 a side team and is a lot happier. He has also given up his music lessons that he has been attending since he was 4. He gave up on grading a while ago - he was meant to have his grade 4 on the day my mum died and it was like his heart was never in it since. The school tried to accommodate by adjusting lessons etc and that gave his enthusiasm a boost. But it has since become obvious his heart was no longer in it. It saves money I guess but I never minded that as he really has a great ear for music. I have a feeling that studying music at GCSE put the final dampner on it. Goodness knows what they did but he was miserable through it all and yet had always loved his private lessons. O well.

Keep well