Wednesday, 26 November 2014

26th November

Hello.

It would have been my mum's birthday today. I did not place flowers at the grave like some did. I may go nearer to Christmas and leave some bright fake flowers. She liked colour, a lot. I find it hard to visit there and don't need to visit to remember. My son and I had to do some shopping together so we sat in BHS cafĂ©, one of her regular places and shared a hot choc and a plate of chips in her honour.

I wrote these words a while ago and decided to save them for her birthday.

When your mum dies everything is tinged with sadness. You may hear a favourite song, shop in a particular shop or eat a particular food that triggers a memory. You may laugh at a joke and momentarily think that you will share it with her and then you remember.The phone rings and you wonder if it's her, just for a fleeting moment. You miss the shared glance that needs no words but says everything.
It needn't have been a perfect idyllic childhood. It may have had bad patches, tough times, fallings out and failings. But there was always unconditional love and when it goes so does a little of yourself. The deep deep feeling that something has gone for good that will never be replaced.
Life goes on and you are a changed person. Celebrations are missing a vital person and family photos have a space.

Take care

x

7 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Cheers John. Hope you knees are holding up x

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  2. That was a lovely way to remember and lovely words. I don't visit the grave side of loved ones but often think of them. My gran mostly.
    Carolx

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  3. Cherish the fact you had a lovely Mother x

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  4. Beautiful words and so true xx

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  5. I have never been back to were mums ashes are buried, mum isnt there, mum is in me my children my grandchildren and generations to come without her none of the following generations would be here, lovely words and so true about little things that trigger memories

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