The post I wanted to write

Hello all.

Was just getting back into my blogging groove then last week I just had a week where my spare time was taken up in the garden and also fighting off headaches.
Everything is potted up and thriving in this lovely mix of sunshine and showers. The courgette seem to have a little influx of blackfly so have had a spray of tea tree oil. I've also remembered to feed the plants before they actually flag this year. So here's hoping for a productive time. I have to pass a nursery (plant sort) every time I drive to and from the school. It's a wonderfully calm and peaceful place especially at 8am. I wonder around aimlessly most times but this time I was on a mission. Jasmine. The smell is amazing and I really wanted one, this then led to a stock up of a few herbs that I haven't got. And of course I quick look in the bargain bin. I'm now the proud owner of a dwarf gage tree. All are planted in pots as I feel rather attached to my plants. I dread leaving the crab apple tree, another bargain bin find, it is magnificent and gives wonderful shelter for the birds as they check out the feeders. Oh and don't get me started on leaving my birds and the worry that the people who take over don't feed them.  Thing is I'm no closer to leaving yet, talk about unnecessary worrying.

When I was a carer my mum went into a care home for a while. It actually was 3 months in the end. An awful time that I can barely look back on without feeling the pain of that time. Being a sandwich carer your responsibilities are so split between such differing needs it can make a brain nearly implode. So it was decided I would have a rest. It was not a perfect solution even though the home was one of the best. I would visit all the time and could never settle at the idea of having other people look after her but home became a calmer place for my son and me.
My mum was an amazing person and always did her best in life. The dementia swallows up the person you know but the love never goes. Roles change and that is such a hard hard thing.
It came to a time when I then had to decide whether to make the respite permanent.  I've had some tough decisions but that was near to impossible for me. Leading up to that time my mum became ill and was hospitalised on the day I needed to decide by. Everyone involved held off and waited for us. Ten days later she died. I always feel that was her final gift to me letting me off the hardest decision that I really needed to make.
The timing then and since has always made me ponder. My son was due his music grading exam and he decided not to go so I went to the hospital. My mum died at the time the exam was due. That meant she went with her 3 children by her side and I saw that her end was peaceful and dignified.
Eventually I took a job I was not happy in and would come home and check out jobs. One stood out but payroll was listed so I did not bother. However the job would keep coming back into my mind and eventually I applied. It's the job I am now in and am happy with.

I'm not sure what this post means. I don't think it needs to mean anything really. It's life and we make our own conclusions. It's just what happened and with a mixture of a mother's love and timing I was spared an awful time.

Take care x

bees and Jasmine

Hello.

Been a lovely day today. Picked up some friends and we did a long dog walk, prob about 3.5 miles. Nice bit of exercise. 

New neighbours are currently building the largest garden climbing frame ever...it looks directly into my living room. Well until my little rescue crab apple tree grows a bit more. Sigh. O for a walled secret garden or a big field just for me.

I did some bee first aid today.

A nice sugary mixture for a grounded bee. Once he/she realised what was going on the little proboscis (is that right?) lapped it up. Then followed a lot of grooming like movements. Which I did video but I thought that might be overkill for you. Fascinating little creature. Little furry bum wiggled while the tiny segmented legs worked away. I checked a few minutes ago and there is no sign of my little bee. I am hoping he/she flew away. Apparently they have to wait for their abdomens to reach a certain temp if they have cooled down and then they can fly away.


Just wondering if anyone recognises this flower. I think it may be Jasmine. It is the most beautiful smell. When I was being driven around Cairo on a motorbike I was given mini flower garlands to wear with the same fragrance. No idea why...maybe I stunk ha.

Take care
x

Skipping away

Hello all.

Funny ol day. Sometimes I wake up in a panic similar to when I was unemployed. I have to talk myself round that things are on the up and calm down. The feeling does not last for long and it's usually on the mid week break I have due to being part time.
The only downside to work is that I do not move as much as this time last year and so I know a few extra pounds of weight have taken root. I would dog walk at least twice a day for quite a few hours. I also swam when I could afford it. I was determined to be busy and it kept my mind busy and kept the already mentioned panic away. Exercise is going to have to figure in my life and I am pondering it (whilst sat on me bum doing nothing).

Suse and I had a nice walk in a nearby country park today. It's a lovely place but I found I was totally distracted by cute goslings and the heronry. It is also full of Monkey Puzzle trees or Monkey Tail trees as I insisted they should be called when I was little. They are amazing up close oh and very sharp. There is a mulberry bush which always make me want to skip round it singing the nursery rhyme. If I ever had to do Dessert Islands Discs a few choices would be nursery rhymes as they bring back many memories of childhood. Due to my mum. One in particular that I could never remember all the way through was 'I had a little nut tree'. Even now I can hear my mum patiently reciting it to me. I also had to just check the title on google. Something I cannot remember but I remember so well - oddness.

x

Oily Feet

Hello all.

Hope you are well.

I always feel relaxed and a bit more in control of things when the jungle of a lawn is mown...mowed. It's quite a job as it undulates and has a couple of large lumpy ants nests. However I am now sat indoors trying to ignore how much hoovering is needed and mopping  but I can ignore that. Just don't look down.

Rather excitingly the first mange tout have arrived even though the plants are rather little still. The potatoes are popping up at a good speed and the good old courgettes are coming on nicely. Such a lovely feeling being able to grow a bit of grub.

I am doing a sponsored run soon. No one is more surprised than me. Although we do not plan to run because...well we don't run but also my aunt plans to be with us. I don't know if you remember that at New Year she had to break it to us she had cancer. Well she is now coming to the end of her chemo and really wants to do the run as she has done for previous years. However the chemo has depleted her white blood cells and she has had 2 hospital admissions due to neutropenia. This has delayed what we hope is her final chemo. She is a tough lady so if anyone can do this it will be my aunt. I was a bit torn as it's for a charity I am not to keen on but they have asked me to join in. So I have put my ideals aside and have now received my number. Have even been on the indoor bike a few times for a bit of training.

Gluten free had slipped to gluten reduced but o my goodness after a poorly time I am gf free with new vigour. I also would like to drop quite a bit of weight so I am trying that as well. Bit easier in hot weather I find. I often fill up on diet pop but not this time. I am also combining it all with giving up aspartame. Phew! New me I am hoping. Although my boss objected to the smell of my raw cabbage lunch the other day. But he won't have to worry as I soon sickened of it  and the next lot went in the bin. Back to gf free sandwich thins today. Yum!

Just wondering if anyone has any experience of unrefined coconut oil and dogs. I use it as a beauty product and found the dog licking up a bit. She loved it. And is now trying to lick my feet where I have just slopped loads on. Have had a quick read on the internet but still a bit undecided.

Take care am off to read your blogs now x

Tippytoe Tree

Hello.

Hope you are all well. Thought I would enjoy these few quiet moments with a new blog post. It's chucking it down so I cannot do anymore in the garden at the mo. The radio is chattering away and Susie is snoozing at my side. For some reason my new neighbours have decided to have a massive bonfire in the rain?? Just a tad smokey and a bit near the fence for my liking. How I long for a field to sit in alone ha...obviously with a bit off shelter on days like this. Although the skies are clearing now however the grass will be much too wet for a mow. Shame. I'll just get on with this post instead.

I changed the 'about me' section of the blog the other week as it occurred to me things had changed a lot and my intention for the blog had. One of my aims last year had been to be a smallholder, has been for years really but I realise to achieve owning a property my work hours will need to increase. Leaving little time for smallholding on a serious scale. I even wonder about my dream of a rural property maybe semi rural will be more suitable. I'm not a planner though so these changes to my aims don't worry me. I will just see what occurs in the future. I will still grow things and really want some hens. Mind you a goat or sheep would be wonderful. And they musn't be lonely. Of course some more rescue animals could be housed. Mmmmh this could be snowballing again.

I am catching up with my veg in pots. The first lot of courgettes, beans and peas are out and looking good(ish). Bit nibbled already. I definitely had beginners luck with the weather last year. I do love checking on them before and after work. Am going to pick my first lot of spring onions this week as they are getting massive.

I have my first official day off tomorrow. I have no school run at the moment and am not needed in on Wed and Thurs so will have a nice bit of freedom. Although will probably spend a lot of it being excited about having the time and not quite achieve much. I am still enjoying work due in part to the variety of work, the freedom I am given and the people I work with. I laugh a lot while I am there as there are some strong characters with a wonderfully wicked sense of humour that I get. Into my 8th month now.

I took this photo on a dog walk for the blog. It's a tree on stilts it would appear. Any idea how this happens anyone? I just wondered if the ground had eroded exposing the roots.

Take care everyone. Have to dash now so am just hoping no typos as no time to check, only just noticed the time.

x